Oh my god.  I just started fantasizing about having a little baby boy!  Sonja isn't even 3 months old yet!  Jesus Christ.  And  I know I won't stop thinking about it until I'm pregnant again.  IUD, here I come.  I need to be stopped.

I bought a new pillow for the couch today and Cooper is now on it, shedding.  That's why everything I buy is chocolate brown.

Maddie and Sonja and I found ourselves with a free morning so we went to town and hung out at Rite Aid!  Whoopie!  On the way there we were listening to NPR and they advised us that if we wanted more information on something we should go to somethingsomething.com.   The "dot com" part of that suggestion really stuck with Maddie and she kept yelling, "Dot com, dot com," all morning.  Then, "Mommy dot com!"  (Which would actually take you here, where's there's a suggestion to check the batteries in your smoke detector, but joke's on them-- we took ours out because the wood stove always sets it off.)

I would pay $20.00 to take a really hot bath and then nap right now.  But instead I'm going to get up and get Maddie up from her too short nap and get all my stuff ready for McKee School.  And Sonja!  Please, let's not forget Sonja!  I will get her ready to go, too.  

There's no point in having a Christmas without children.  It's so much more impossibly fun with kids around.  They don't even get what's going on but we enjoy trying to make it meaningful for them.  We put a tree in our house and lit it up and Maddie just took it in stride, like we always have a tree in the living room.  

Matthew took us out to cut the tree down and he took his kids out, too, and it was so frickin' cold and Myra fell down and smashed her knee on some ice and it was the kind of cold where your face just can't take it and Matthew gave up and didn't get a tree.  But we had bundled our kids up and my man chopped down a beautiful tree and we dragged it back to our cave.

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I'm so devastated that The Daily Show won't be on until after the New Year, because I need to know what Jon (and his writers) think of that guy who threw a shoe at Bush in Iraq.  Dude threw a shoe at him!  Both of his shoes!  But then he got beaten and kicked by Iraqi security and Bush called it democracy.  Poor guy.  I know it's an immature way to make a point or express yourself, but that guy is my hero.  

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Sonja is getting baptized today.  Pictures to follow...

  

I spent about two hours by myself on Sunday, running errands.  I haven't been by myself in over two months.  It was amazing how much easier it was to get stuff done.  I just got into and out of the car.  No unbuckling car seats or strapping a baby to me while another car tries to pull in alongside me.  No squirming bottoms trying to get out of the grocery cart or eat the butter while we're in line.  No giant car seat full of infant to lug through the parking lot!  It was good.  I'd like to say, "But also kind of sad," but I just can't.  The girls were with their Oma, Maddie asleep, Sonja full of milk, and they were fine.  I wasn't sad, I was free.  

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Rod Blagojevich!  What the hell is wrong with you?  Getting him elected is one of my first SEIU memories.  Jackass.  We were so happy!  And I have the pen he used to sign a bill into law making it legal for healthcare workers in state hospitals to organize by signing cards.  What the hell is that called?  Jesus, I forgot what that's called, I can't believe it.  Anyway, I organized the first wall-to-wall hospital in the state of Illinois and the first RN union for SEIU under that law and got the damn pen.  I organized that place so fast, they didn't even have any paperwork for me to file with.  Those were the days.  Now this turkey turns out to be just as corrupt as his Republican predecessor!  George at least made it out of office before getting arrested!  Stupid governors.  They are not having a red-letter year.

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We're lighting a tree before dinner tonight.  At least, I hope it will light.  We have to sing loudly enough and sincerely enough to inspire the tree to light up.  

CARD CHECK!  It is called CARD CHECK!  Goddamn it, I remembered, I'm not losing my mind after all.  It is called card check when the majority of the workers sign cards to form their union.    

Had a spectacularly bad fight today (taught Maddie how to say, "Shut up") and did a small bit of cleaning.  What did we fight over?  Nathaniel asked me not to leave the wet sponge in the sink after washing dishes because it smells bad and gets bacteria-y.  And he implied that me leaving the wet sponge in the sink was the reason he never does dishes.  Only, he called "never" "rarely".  I felt that I never do leave a wet sponge in the sink and that it was unfair to fault me for there being a wet sponge in the sink just then.  (Rather unfortunate timing on the sponge's part.)  And somehow Maddie learned to say, "Shut up" to her Dad.  Not great. 

Thursdays kick my ass.  

Yet, here I am, one window full of blog, another full of Jon Stewart.  Nathaniel is down at a meeting about brain plasticity (he won the "your turn to do something fun" night) and the girls are both in bed and the pets are fed.  Wow.  Did I just rhyme that?  

I accidently watched "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" last night.  "Accidently?" you ask.  I was on the verge of actually getting a good night's sleep when I sat next to Nathaniel for a second and put my head on his shoulder and he opened up his laptop to check how his "perfectly legal" downloads were progressing.  And when he opened up the "Z & M Make a P" file to check the quality of the bootlegged video, neither one of us ever shut it off and I never got up.  It was awful.  And defied all logic that a beautiful, non-crazy, good actress would fall in love with Seth Rogan.  He is so gross.

Alright, I finished Jon Stewart and now I must pay attention to Stephen Colbert.  I'm watching on Nathaniel's laptop because my computer is busted.  AHHHHH!  No more pictures or movies!   

Not to be outdone, Nathaniel gave Maddie a huge egg on her forehead last night.  We were in Main House before dinner and he came out of the kitchen and she ran to him, saying, "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!"  He scooped her up and swung her above his head-- right into the corner of the dropped ceiling.  She got a huge bump, all black and blue, immediately.  Very sad.  She didn't cry too much but she was adorable, holding an ice pack to her little head and sitting on Daddy's lap all through dinner.  Mostly, she loves telling everyone about her injuries.  Again-- adorable.

Sonja has become beautiful this week.  I just want to kiss her little cheeks all the time.  She's a little puker and then she smiles and smiles at me, like she loves puking on herself.  How can you be mad about that?  She also follows me with her eyes at all times, even when I have her lying on the table upside down.  She is so precious.  She looks just like Nathaniel.  

These are the things I'm putting off doing right now:

*Re-potting my favorite plant (it's 9 years old and I got it for $1.99 at Wal-Mart when it was tiny.  Now it's huge and sitting the bathtub, waiting for me to help its roots stop strangling it to death.)

* Clean out the refrigerator (dear God)

* Dust the entertainment center shelving

* Play fetch with Ava

* Clean the basement.  Poor, poor basement.  Well, let me tell ya-- it's not my fault.  I was too dispirited to clean the basement this month because someone (Cooper) had developed a pooping problem.  Nathaniel thinks it may be related to the terrible butt surgery he had last Spring but I think it's related to him busting into the cat food and gorging himself until his brown body is visibly altered.  Either way, he was leaving poops in the basement and when we would let him out, he'd just sit by the door unless you went out with him and held his damn paw while he pooped.  (Not literally, okay?)  So, I've got a new theory: he doesn't like to poop around Ava.  I can understand this.  While he's pooping, she stares at him from 20 feet away, crouches down in a stalking position, and as soon as he's done, chases him and drags him back to the door by his collar.  SO, he goes out by himself now and no more poops in the basement!  Yay, me!  SO, no reason for me to not be cleaning the basement today while Maddie and Sonja are napping.  EXCEPT that I found something else to do instead: procrastinatory blog posting.  Ta-da!

Whew.  An important milestone today.  Maddie made her first trip to the emergency room.  

We went to the Family Center to drop off some clothes and we stayed to play.  Maddie found a baby doll and took him on a tour of the playroom.  I changed baby Sonja and realized I had left the wet wipes in the car.  So I told Maddie we were going to the car for a minute, but not to leave, just to get something and come back.  Then I took her hand and she rag-dolled herself to the floor.  Just, whoosh, legs out from beneath her, ton-of-bricks to the floor.  I picked her up in one arm, Sonja in the other, and had her stand just inside the entrance door while I ran to the car.  She was sniffling but I thought it was because she thought we were leaving.  I came back and told her, "See, we can still play!  Let's go back to the playroom!"  We went back, but she kept crying, and it was a weird cry, a cry I've only heard during teething, but it was intermittent so I asked, "Does your arm hurt?" and she said, "Baby doll!"  I pointed the way to her baby doll and she laughed her little relieved laugh when she finds something and went to pick him up.  But her arm didn't work and she couldn't do it! 

Very scary for her.  That made the biggest impression-- not the hurting of the arm or going to the hospital or even the doctor eventually popping the elbow back together, but the inability to pick up her doll.  It made an impression on me, too.  Terrible. 

So, Sonja started crying in sympathy, and also because it was her feeding time (something I thought I had so cleverly timed to coincide with Maddie's Family Center playtime, like a clever, clever Mommy).  I packed her away in her carrier, cleaned up our toys, shoed and jacketed Maddie and gathered everyone (and diaper bag) in my arms.  I was calm but panicked.  I was  a good, reassuring Mommy who had it all under control and I was a frantic, guilty Mommy who wanted to rush my baby out of there.  Maddie never cries in pain and it was obvious she was in pain.  I'll repeat: terrible.

Nathaniel met me at the ER and the nurses couldn't have been nicer about not suspecting me of child abuse.  Maddie calmed down when I was able to immobilize her arm with her blanket and Sonja calmed down when Maddie did.  We sang songs and she was ADORABLE.  When the doctor asked her to move her arm, she tried, it hurt, and she turned to me and said, "Mommy, help."  Oh, my god.  I'll be remembering that in the nursing home when I've forgotten my name.  The doctor did his popping and her little face crumpled and the lower lip went out but she didn't cry or scream.  And a minute later, she forgot that her arm hurt and reached for me, and lo and behold, her arm didn't hurt-- it was all better!  The doctor said he likes doing this for little kids because it's so easy and is an immediate fix.  

It actually turned out to be a hugely positive encounter-- I told her that the doctor would fix her and make her feel better and he did.  She kept repeating that all night, "Doctor fix.  Arm better."  So maybe she won't be too scared of the ER the next time we go there.  Oh, you know there'll be a next time.

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I was listening to NPR yesterday (NPR is so much better on the weekends because Alan Chartock isn't on.  The quality of the local NPR is for poop) and they did a piece on Massachusetts's universal healthcare and whether it could work as a national model.  And they discussed why there's a primary care doctor shortage in the state.  Here goes:  

With the passage of universal, required coverage for every MA resident, all these people who never had health insurance before, suddenly have it.  And they have saved up a ton of health concerns while going without insurance and now they want to check those concerns out and get them taken care of.  So instead of meeting with a doctor for the regular 15 minutes, they want a half hour or more to deal with years of overdue issues.  And they have more complex and long-term issues than just stopping by for a flu shot.  And the primary care doctor tries to help them but she's on a schedule and so refers them to specialists.  So no one doctor is getting the big picture on this patient and their health, so the patient has to explain and address all their issues over and over again with different doctors and at different facilities.   

Primary care doctors hate this and something like 83% of them hate their jobs and want to become specialists or decrease their hours in the next year.  So we're driving away the doctors we need more of.  They can't accept new patients into their practice, their waiting list for appointments is months long, and they're not getting paid crap compared to urologists.  

I can testify to the bullshit that is the primary care system in South County.  And the criminal lack of doctors and ridiculous wait time for appointments.  Getting health care is important and 100% coverage of MA residents is awesome.  But pin-balling between specialists and getting prescriptions from the local ER is not good, comprehensive health care and it's a bummer for the soon-to-be-extinct family physician.    

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One last thing:  I washed Mr. Lion in the machine during Maddie's nap and as soon as she woke up, she asked for him.  It was lunch time so I told her he was drying on the table and took Sonja out to the car.  By the time I got back, Maddie had spread glue all over poor Mr. Lion.  ADORABLE.

New, Secret Blog

Four years, two daughters, two graduate degrees, and a log cabin later, the Rundle-McMahon family needs a new blog!  I ran out of memory space on the old one, and who wants to read my blog without seeing pictures of our peanuts?  No one.

Also, I'm hoping to make this blog a bit more not advertised on MySpace and Facebook.

Thanksgiving at the Farm this year was great.  Nathaniel was beside himself over quinoa stuffing (with raisins) so we're going to make our own Thanksgiving dinner sometime in January, but it'll really just be about the stuffing.  And mashed potatoes.  No thankfulness.  Ooooo... and the cranberry sauce!  I'm excited.

The Farm Thanksgiving was beautiful, though.  It actually felt like a community, even though there were more people there that I didn't know and lots of friends gone home to their families.  I gave a McKee School Harvest Report and it was a lot of fun.  Nathaniel sang with the kitchen and Maintenance stole the show!