We went to the Family Center to drop off some clothes and we stayed to play. Maddie found a baby doll and took him on a tour of the playroom. I changed baby Sonja and realized I had left the wet wipes in the car. So I told Maddie we were going to the car for a minute, but not to leave, just to get something and come back. Then I took her hand and she rag-dolled herself to the floor. Just, whoosh, legs out from beneath her, ton-of-bricks to the floor. I picked her up in one arm, Sonja in the other, and had her stand just inside the entrance door while I ran to the car. She was sniffling but I thought it was because she thought we were leaving. I came back and told her, "See, we can still play! Let's go back to the playroom!" We went back, but she kept crying, and it was a weird cry, a cry I've only heard during teething, but it was intermittent so I asked, "Does your arm hurt?" and she said, "Baby doll!" I pointed the way to her baby doll and she laughed her little relieved laugh when she finds something and went to pick him up. But her arm didn't work and she couldn't do it!
Very scary for her. That made the biggest impression-- not the hurting of the arm or going to the hospital or even the doctor eventually popping the elbow back together, but the inability to pick up her doll. It made an impression on me, too. Terrible.
So, Sonja started crying in sympathy, and also because it was her feeding time (something I thought I had so cleverly timed to coincide with Maddie's Family Center playtime, like a clever, clever Mommy). I packed her away in her carrier, cleaned up our toys, shoed and jacketed Maddie and gathered everyone (and diaper bag) in my arms. I was calm but panicked. I was a good, reassuring Mommy who had it all under control and I was a frantic, guilty Mommy who wanted to rush my baby out of there. Maddie never cries in pain and it was obvious she was in pain. I'll repeat: terrible.
Nathaniel met me at the ER and the nurses couldn't have been nicer about not suspecting me of child abuse. Maddie calmed down when I was able to immobilize her arm with her blanket and Sonja calmed down when Maddie did. We sang songs and she was ADORABLE. When the doctor asked her to move her arm, she tried, it hurt, and she turned to me and said, "Mommy, help." Oh, my god. I'll be remembering that in the nursing home when I've forgotten my name. The doctor did his popping and her little face crumpled and the lower lip went out but she didn't cry or scream. And a minute later, she forgot that her arm hurt and reached for me, and lo and behold, her arm didn't hurt-- it was all better! The doctor said he likes doing this for little kids because it's so easy and is an immediate fix.
It actually turned out to be a hugely positive encounter-- I told her that the doctor would fix her and make her feel better and he did. She kept repeating that all night, "Doctor fix. Arm better." So maybe she won't be too scared of the ER the next time we go there. Oh, you know there'll be a next time.
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I was listening to NPR yesterday (NPR is so much better on the weekends because Alan Chartock isn't on. The quality of the local NPR is for poop) and they did a piece on Massachusetts's universal healthcare and whether it could work as a national model. And they discussed why there's a primary care doctor shortage in the state. Here goes:
With the passage of universal, required coverage for every MA resident, all these people who never had health insurance before, suddenly have it. And they have saved up a ton of health concerns while going without insurance and now they want to check those concerns out and get them taken care of. So instead of meeting with a doctor for the regular 15 minutes, they want a half hour or more to deal with years of overdue issues. And they have more complex and long-term issues than just stopping by for a flu shot. And the primary care doctor tries to help them but she's on a schedule and so refers them to specialists. So no one doctor is getting the big picture on this patient and their health, so the patient has to explain and address all their issues over and over again with different doctors and at different facilities.
Primary care doctors hate this and something like 83% of them hate their jobs and want to become specialists or decrease their hours in the next year. So we're driving away the doctors we need more of. They can't accept new patients into their practice, their waiting list for appointments is months long, and they're not getting paid crap compared to urologists.
I can testify to the bullshit that is the primary care system in South County. And the criminal lack of doctors and ridiculous wait time for appointments. Getting health care is important and 100% coverage of MA residents is awesome. But pin-balling between specialists and getting prescriptions from the local ER is not good, comprehensive health care and it's a bummer for the soon-to-be-extinct family physician.
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One last thing: I washed Mr. Lion in the machine during Maddie's nap and as soon as she woke up, she asked for him. It was lunch time so I told her he was drying on the table and took Sonja out to the car. By the time I got back, Maddie had spread glue all over poor Mr. Lion. ADORABLE.
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